Monday, April 25, 2005

Guys Undressing in Front of Seated Girl

Mushroom's Story
Inside the casbah seemed like an odd place to host a shirts-verses-skins basketball game, but no one was adverse to it after a few rum shots. They just needed to convince a couple people to hold wicker baskets up over their heads at opposite ends of the room, but that would only require buying the goaltenders another round.

Courtney's Story
Poor little Margie. When she was six years old she was caught in a freak juggling accident that left her with only shoulders and a head. When she was 15 her friends took her to a party and propped her up in a wicker chair with sweatshirts so she could enjoy the party too. Margie desperately wanted to play duck duck goose with the girls on the other side of the room, but because of the position of her chair she could only watch the boys play strip poker.

Jamie Dawn's Story
It's mating season on planet Yunx, and males attract females by making them laugh. Unfortunately, males far outnumber females which means females must endure hours of ridiculous antics by several males before choosing the one who has made her laugh. After choosing, she must remember Yunx's sacred law: Once mating commences, females must no longer laugh at males.

Elveshat's Story
The boys were laughing at their hearts content. Had it been the heat, the water that they threw at each other or their youthful urge to show off their bodies in front of the girls? In any case, they were taking their clothes off and kept teasing each other. Lynn was sitting on a chair and all boys had gathered around her. She felt the power that she had suddenly gained and ordered them around. They were all laughing but for Jonathan, who was staring at the group of girls at the other side of the cave-room. He seemed perplexed, his mind had stopped thinking, without knowing why, he had been absorbed into their singing and could not hear the boys laughs anymore. His mind sunk in the melodies and in spirit of the group of the girls. He would have remained in this state for a long time, had Andrew not dragged him to the side, laughing out loud and forcing him to return to their company. "Hey Andrew, don't push me like that!" exclaimed Jonathan, "Sorry man, just look at what I am going to do now". Jonathan burst into laughs, because Andrew had decided to make a fool of himself by pretending to be a monkey! And everyone followed. Soon, the whole cave-room was filled with teenage monkeys, which were dancing, jumbing and screaming around. Suddenly and as one soul, the girls stood all up glancing at the boys in an angry manner. The boys stood still, a few laughs would escape their mouths once in a while, but one could say that they had become serious again. They were looking back at the girls in a manner that revealed remorse. Anjali stepped forward and spoke: "Honored members of the Society of the Dead Musicians! Forget not what we came here for! We didn't leave secretly the boarding school tonight just to have fun. Remember our purpose. We are here to establish the first Society of the Dead Musicians of our boarding school and to make sure that this tradition will go on for many decades from now on. Anna, fetch the instruments." Any beholder would have been shocked from the weird transformation of the naughty teenagers into decisive and serious violin players. In a moment, the whole cave-room was filled by the melodies of the violins, and of the voices of the girls which sung a heavenly song. Ode to joy was the establishing melody, which would keep them together giving them the strength to fight back their boarding school that treated them in an inhuman way.

"O friends, no more these sounds!
Let us sing more cheerful songs,
more full of joy!

Joy, bright spark of divinity,
Daughter of Elysium,
Fire-inspired we tread
Thy sanctuary ."

Thus they kept playing until dawn, when Anjali dismissed the brotherhood of the Dead Musicians. Tired but excited and happy for having achieved what they set out for, they returned to the boarding school after running through the forest, imitating the owls and the wolfs, and lauging out loud under the cloak of darkness with a few moonbeams as their real friends.

M.P.'s Story
They just couldn't believe their eyes and dind't know whether to laugh or cry before that sight!
All the noise they had heard some moments ago had an explanation, that very explanation: right before their eyes in a craddle-like seat was a female alien they were sure was coming from nowhere.
They hadn't the slightest clue about to say to her and that explains the bowing and the ecstasy which was gradually taking hold of all the people there.
Suddenly she smiled and said:"Let's play the "statue" game!" And they were all turned into living motionless statues. "What can I do now with these dummies?" , she said again. "They couldn't even work out I've just fallen down from my balcony window into this empty laundry basket"...

My Story
The thought that she had bitten off more than she could chew swelled to gagging proportions and swirled around her head pinching her cheeks. The boys were laughing, pulling off clothes, working out who would be first with Claire. They had been drinking heavily the entire evening, just as Claire had requested. She didn't think she could follow through with sober eyes staring at her, but she hadn't expected such bravado. "I'm going to suck at this," she told herself fatally. But she had wanted the practice and the girls had enthusiastically volunteered their boyfriends for the intimate procedure which they themselves were not inclined to perform. She thought ahead to when it would all be behind her. There'd be no added company nine months later. That was certain. No, the boys would return to their girlfriends, completely content, one less tension to worry about in their conventional erotic encounters. Yes, Claire thought, it was indeed swell of the boys to help her out on such short notice, and swell of their girls not to mind. After performing the nine impromptu vasectomies, Claire was a cinch to pass her med-school exam the next day.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Three Dogs and Human Legs

Mushroom's Story
Buster knew a hot bitch when he saw one. "Look her there," he thought to himself, "how she's just standing there trying to get me to catch her scent. That little minx! She wants me!" Englantina was unaware that she was being so provocative, but figured it out quick enough when Buster yipped a seductive greeting to her. She wasn't into big strong males, and she was afraid that he'd pursue her doggedly. But she thought quickly and came up with a gambit to save her virtue. Instead of running away up the sidewalk as she was prone to do, she walked quickly to her right, toward Sunshine. Sunny was more his size and speed, and it was clear from this angle that she had what Buster really sought in a dame. Buster's tone changed as his simple interests shifted subject, and Tina was able to prance off to her left out of the way unnoticed as Buster moved in to sniff Sunny. Tina was successful in her ruse, and left to take a shih-tzu friend of hers out for dinner.

Allmagica's Story
"Holidays in Greece! Ah, nothing can be compared to the hot sun, the splendid beaches and the beautiful women." Thats what Flaffy thought, the brown little dog from London, when he saw a greek beauty passing by. He was there with his "boss", Amanda the psychic, who owned him and several dogs as well. Her aim was to research into the non-verbal communication between humans and animals, and living with them had proved to be a rewarding experience. Her supernatural abilities though, had gifted her more enemies than friends and, almost chased by the media, she had managed to escape in a tiny greek island. "None will ever imagine to look for
me in this God-forsaken place." Or so she had thought before living for Greece. Without even turning around to look at him, Amanda read Flaffy's thoughts and exclaimed: "Now let that poor animal go Flaffy! We did not come here for fun, we have bussiness to do!" But Flaffy did not seem to listen to her, especially now that a local guy, almost half of his size but extremely confident as it seemed, had started to dangerously approach the white beauty. Lazarus, like any other normal dog, telepathetically felt Flaffy's intentions and turned around, ready to engage in a deadly battle! "Now come over here, if you dare! You, english nerd!" Lazarus, challenged him. "whom do you call nerd? You, silly greek dwarf!" Replied Flaffy. What followed was an ugly fight between the two dogs, biting and hitting each other, bleeding and endlessly barking. Then suddenly they stopped. Perplexed, taken aback with surpize and unable to say word, both dogs stopped and stared at the dramatic scene that unfolded before their eyes. A car had just passed by and took with it forever the beauty of the white animal for which both had fought with so much passion. "Everything is temporary in this world Flaffy." Amanda whispered to him. "A big fuss over nothing. Now we have important work to do."

M.P.'s Story
Peanuts is no astray dog.
He belongs to a U-class "milieu",has his own comfortable cushion to sleep on, special dog food, gets a bath every week ( although he hates that!) has to cope with a private vet every now and then, has U-class female companions and so on and so forth. All that a dog of his social class is thought to have...
Peanuts has his complaints to make though. He's never been happy with the places he's taken to and worse than that he's usually taken out on the lead!
This time there's a whole new excitement! He managed to escape through the front gate of his mansion garden and there he is joined to his very plebeian friends on an aimless wander through the many city-centre streets which happened to be loaded with thousands of legs, the right ones for ... a good pee.

Weirsdo's Story
Fuzzy of the frenetic filaments found Frou-Frou felicitously at the finitum of the fifi (formerly fe-fe) followers. Fuzzy fervently fantasized about fucking Frou-Frou. Photons reflected from Frou-Frou's fur fired his philandering. Frou-Frou's pheromones were forcing him to fornicate. He followed her, defying Fiona, who forbade it.
Fiona focussed on them, confused by Fuzzy's fecklessness. Finally she figured she'd inform family and friends that Fido was unfaithful because he forgot Frou-Frou was flatulent, infected with fungus, and infested with fleas.

My Story
The dogs trotted by as if nothing were amiss, but it bristled their fur to see a stray human out alone, without a leash. There were laws against that sort of thing. Humans had repeatedly shown themselves to be the most irrational and volatile creature on the planet. At any moment it might pick up the potted plant and hurl it against the building. Or turn on them screaming and kicking, for no apparent reason! Not even the wisest canine scientists were able to explain these unprovoked outbursts. Therefore the dogs remained nonchalant, exercised no sudden moves that might intrude on the creature's precarious mental equilibrium, and got the hell out of there. It had been a mistake to import the humans to the planet, but the damage had been done, indeed, was only just beginning. Once a male and female of the species got together all the barking in the world couldn't separate them. So each year there were more and more of the creatures walking around, and what was worse, they didn't even taste good.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Boy and Girl on a Pendant

Mushroom's Story
Gretta went through life without the burden of having children. She was quite happy with her life and never wanted to have kids for as long as she could remember. Even when she'd play house as a little girl, the dolls were representative of friends coming over for tea, not a family. She was active and healthy, had travelled the world and worked for everything she got, and she enjoyed every whirlwind romance she had had yet was always the one to make sure that her men knew she was a freebird and couldn't be caged. Life was good to Gretta. On her 55th birthday she applied for entrance into a senior community, not because she felt the need to either retire or be shelved but because the expenses were lower and yard responsibilities fewer than living in a house on her own. Plus she figured she might meet some mature men at their functions, though she wasn't done with the younger men yet.

A month or two into her residence at Wayland Madrona Estates, after she'd become acquainted with the other residents and had pegged who was still a live wire and who was waiting patiently for Death to rap on their door, she started to feel a pang. At first she couldn't quite place it, and thought maybe that the negativity of the death-waiters was rubbing off on her, but then at a cribbage game she realised what the problem was: it all came clear when three of the ladies pulled the grandchildren photos out of their little black purses and started basking in the stereotypical banter, such as "this is my son William's boy Tommy, he's 8 now and in the third grade, oh he is such a prodigy..." She still didn't feel any sort of guilt or resentment about her choice to stay a butterfly, but she did detect that this was what was bothering her... that she didn't have grandchild stories, and that made her the odd-woman-out. For the first time in memory (or since the beginning of college ages ago) she felt alone, like she didn't quite fit in. She didn't like that feeling, and that night after cards she spent some time thinking about what she could do to elevate herself.

The next afternoon, when she'd finished serving coffee at the Senior Center, she took a drive to an estate sales dealer in a rural community fourty miles away. She enjoyed the drive, and how the scenery along the way lended to the ambiance of her destination. After browsing around at the tulle 'country clutter' and having a sample of their homemade cherry jelly in the General Store section of the shop, she wandered through the antiques and dead people's kitch to the jewelry counter. Inside the case, to the left of the paste & rhinestones and to the right of the abandoned wedding sets were the keepsake pendants on necklace chains. Two of these pendants looked like her style -- a bit tarnished but in excellent condition, they were "loved" as the woman behind the counter said. She asked for and was handed the two pendants to have a look inside and test the latches & hinges. Both were functional, and by sheer luck both already had photos in them. "I can take those out," the woman said, but Gretta replied, "No, thank you, those are what I came here for." Gretta bought the two pendants and a jar of pear butter, and went home with a song in her heart.

She wore those pendants whenever she would go to events at the Estates, small like card games or large like mixers, and she felt like she was in good company again. Other people would sometimes ask with a smile about the teens hanging around her neck, and she'd tell stories -- they didn't have to be intricate or exciting, she discovered, just spoken with pride and happiness, and they could be recycled almost infinitely -- about how Brandon and Tanya were the prettiest and smartest kids in their high school.

Allmagica's Story
A definetely naughty little girl was Elina, that had managed to sneak into her mothers personal belongings once more. No wonder why her mother used to call her Devilina! This time the nine year old girl, which was always ready for the next mischief, found in the cellar a box with romantic letters and two chains with two pictures attached to them. Proud at the new discovery, Elina called her older brother to show off her treasures. Her young mind did not bother to try to make out who the young teenagers on the pictures were. Nevertheless, Alexander, who was five years older, immediatelly had a happy suspicion and created a brilliant plan! The persons on the pictures were obviously their parents. Wouldnt this be an ideal way to make their wedding anniversary filled with memories from their romantic youth? Elina and Alex placed the letters and the chains on their parents bed and waited patiently for them to return. At about 23.00 they heard the door open, and quickly hid under the kitchen-table that had a good view to the bedroom. When their parents enter their room they were taken aback with surprise! They lovingly smiled at each other making the kids shake hands under the table for the succesful plan.

Mushroom's Continuation of Allmagica's Story
...the shriek heard for three blocks within seconds of their happy handshake was from Mother's secret past being revealed. She'd loved both of the people in the pictures intensely. Eduardo was her first love, the one who made her from a child into an adult, and everyone back home thought they looked perfect together -- and Imelda was the one who turned her from a girl to a woman, and a few people suspected 'something' but others just presumed they were sisters of different mothers because they looked so much alike at age 16. Father knew none of this. Until now.

My Story
Magister Mecanus worked in the Destiny Department predestining love. He selected a pendant from the girl pile and one from the boy pile, placed them next to each other, and examined them closely with his magnifying lense. The match was aesthetically pleasing to him even in the minutest of details. His highly trained fingers felt the flat metal likenesses for affinity static and dangled them millimeters apart, one in each hand, to test the magnetism. Finally he reached for the abacus on the corner of his desk and computed the time the boy and girl would share. His computation worked out to just over eighty years. The rest of their lives, in fact. This made Magister Mecanus very happy. It was always sad when the pendants came back to him so soon to be melted down again.