Monday, April 18, 2005

Three Dogs and Human Legs

Mushroom's Story
Buster knew a hot bitch when he saw one. "Look her there," he thought to himself, "how she's just standing there trying to get me to catch her scent. That little minx! She wants me!" Englantina was unaware that she was being so provocative, but figured it out quick enough when Buster yipped a seductive greeting to her. She wasn't into big strong males, and she was afraid that he'd pursue her doggedly. But she thought quickly and came up with a gambit to save her virtue. Instead of running away up the sidewalk as she was prone to do, she walked quickly to her right, toward Sunshine. Sunny was more his size and speed, and it was clear from this angle that she had what Buster really sought in a dame. Buster's tone changed as his simple interests shifted subject, and Tina was able to prance off to her left out of the way unnoticed as Buster moved in to sniff Sunny. Tina was successful in her ruse, and left to take a shih-tzu friend of hers out for dinner.

Allmagica's Story
"Holidays in Greece! Ah, nothing can be compared to the hot sun, the splendid beaches and the beautiful women." Thats what Flaffy thought, the brown little dog from London, when he saw a greek beauty passing by. He was there with his "boss", Amanda the psychic, who owned him and several dogs as well. Her aim was to research into the non-verbal communication between humans and animals, and living with them had proved to be a rewarding experience. Her supernatural abilities though, had gifted her more enemies than friends and, almost chased by the media, she had managed to escape in a tiny greek island. "None will ever imagine to look for
me in this God-forsaken place." Or so she had thought before living for Greece. Without even turning around to look at him, Amanda read Flaffy's thoughts and exclaimed: "Now let that poor animal go Flaffy! We did not come here for fun, we have bussiness to do!" But Flaffy did not seem to listen to her, especially now that a local guy, almost half of his size but extremely confident as it seemed, had started to dangerously approach the white beauty. Lazarus, like any other normal dog, telepathetically felt Flaffy's intentions and turned around, ready to engage in a deadly battle! "Now come over here, if you dare! You, english nerd!" Lazarus, challenged him. "whom do you call nerd? You, silly greek dwarf!" Replied Flaffy. What followed was an ugly fight between the two dogs, biting and hitting each other, bleeding and endlessly barking. Then suddenly they stopped. Perplexed, taken aback with surpize and unable to say word, both dogs stopped and stared at the dramatic scene that unfolded before their eyes. A car had just passed by and took with it forever the beauty of the white animal for which both had fought with so much passion. "Everything is temporary in this world Flaffy." Amanda whispered to him. "A big fuss over nothing. Now we have important work to do."

M.P.'s Story
Peanuts is no astray dog.
He belongs to a U-class "milieu",has his own comfortable cushion to sleep on, special dog food, gets a bath every week ( although he hates that!) has to cope with a private vet every now and then, has U-class female companions and so on and so forth. All that a dog of his social class is thought to have...
Peanuts has his complaints to make though. He's never been happy with the places he's taken to and worse than that he's usually taken out on the lead!
This time there's a whole new excitement! He managed to escape through the front gate of his mansion garden and there he is joined to his very plebeian friends on an aimless wander through the many city-centre streets which happened to be loaded with thousands of legs, the right ones for ... a good pee.

Weirsdo's Story
Fuzzy of the frenetic filaments found Frou-Frou felicitously at the finitum of the fifi (formerly fe-fe) followers. Fuzzy fervently fantasized about fucking Frou-Frou. Photons reflected from Frou-Frou's fur fired his philandering. Frou-Frou's pheromones were forcing him to fornicate. He followed her, defying Fiona, who forbade it.
Fiona focussed on them, confused by Fuzzy's fecklessness. Finally she figured she'd inform family and friends that Fido was unfaithful because he forgot Frou-Frou was flatulent, infected with fungus, and infested with fleas.

My Story
The dogs trotted by as if nothing were amiss, but it bristled their fur to see a stray human out alone, without a leash. There were laws against that sort of thing. Humans had repeatedly shown themselves to be the most irrational and volatile creature on the planet. At any moment it might pick up the potted plant and hurl it against the building. Or turn on them screaming and kicking, for no apparent reason! Not even the wisest canine scientists were able to explain these unprovoked outbursts. Therefore the dogs remained nonchalant, exercised no sudden moves that might intrude on the creature's precarious mental equilibrium, and got the hell out of there. It had been a mistake to import the humans to the planet, but the damage had been done, indeed, was only just beginning. Once a male and female of the species got together all the barking in the world couldn't separate them. So each year there were more and more of the creatures walking around, and what was worse, they didn't even taste good.


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