Rehearsing a Play

Doug's Story
Mark explained to Lugubria, "It says here that we should throw the rope over something directly overhead and fix to something solid, do you think the chairleg?"

She answered, "I don't care, hurry up, the lecture starts in twenty minutes."


A Little Bar of Soap's Story
Jennifer stood on the chair, waiting for Ms. Meyers to hand her the flyer for posting. "Why does Ms. Meyers have such a mannish haircut?" wondered Jennifer.

Ms. Meyers nearly lost her balance handing the flyer up to Jenn. "Why, Jenn dresses like a little punk boy!" thought Ms. Meyers to herself.

Jennifer and Ms. Meyers were busily preparing the 5-6 year olds Sunday School room for tomorrow's class. They'd been planning this class for months. It's on women in the Bible. They will start with Eve and go all the way through Mary Magdalene. One hour will not be enough time.

Perhaps later they'll pray about it.


Mushroom's Story
Joshua (as George) and Jesamin (as Emily) were rattling through their lines, three days before dress rehearsal of the community theatre's production of Our Town, and Josh tried his best for sincerity as he crooned, "I guess new people aren't any better than old ones" and began the pledge of love to Emily. Jesamin had to break character as though it were a moral imperative, and said over Josh's head to the director, "Ya know, this would be so much more authentic and a little safer if the custodian would let us use the building's ladders! These elementary school chairs are going to give way under our weight and then they'll be sorry!"


Dog Face Girl's Story
Both Jennifer and Ms. Meyers felt a gust of the Holy Wind and the Spirit overtook them, causing them to fall upon each other as they rolled and flailed limbs in gesticulations of praise until they were intertwined and tied together yet they continued to roll and shout the name of God. Then all grew quiet and eerily calm as they stared into one another's eyes and slowly and passionately kissed.And that's why Jenn dressed like a little punk boy!


Monster Spank's Story
As the leader of the free world, she was given the privilege of standing in any chair she wished. today, she chose this particular four-legged implement because it went well with her parliamentary hairstyle. Meanwhile, the one-legged man was explaining why oatmeal should be given higher subsidies even if the French whined.


My Story
"You're still not getting it!" the director hurled at his rehearsing players.

"What did we do wrong this time?" the boy pondered.
"Are we to play it in mime?" the girl wondered.

The director sighed. "I'll repeat it again if you're lost: This is Theater of the Absurd. You must avoid meaning at every cost."

"You gave us Shakespeare to read," said she, "and told us to use the soliloquy."

"We have no budget for modern scripts, and these may be used without royalty. I ask only that you state the reverse of what you read, so that we might add absurdity. Begin again, please, at the scene where Hamlet confronts Juliet."

Hamlet: Anarchy or decadence? Answer thou this question.
Juliet: O Romeo, Romeo, there art thou!
Hamlet: 'Tis better to have pleasure by slings and cuffs, than watch the Wheel of Fortune.
Juliet: Deny thy father came thus to me? Oh what was his name? I dared not refuse him. But it was not love, I swear it.
Hamlet: I'll take his wooden arms and trouble him to spring in the sea to his unopposed end.
Juliet: I have some capsules I long to take. 'Tis said one forgets one's own name.
Hamlet: To sleep, to sleep with thee evermore, by sleep mean I that pleasure of a thousand throbbings of the flesh. Ah, thy natural hair!
Juliet: Take thou thyself, through masturbation. Wilt thou masturbate?
Hamlet: 'Tis a consummation devoutly to avoid.
Juliet: With thy hand afoot, no arm nor face of mine thou need. Or belong to a man, a name of thy choosing.
Hamlet: To sleep with thee, perchance was but a dream: may that thou would rub me.
Juliet: To thee 'tis all the same. Take my friend Rose. She smells as sweet as I.

"No! No! No!" the director lamented loudly, throwing his arms in the air.

"What's wrong now?" the boy and girl asked as one.

"It's good," the director told them, catching his falling arms, "but it's making too much sense. Let's go instead with a new concept. Girl, you be Othello, and boy, you play Little Richard. Stagehand! Bring out the piano and the horse."

"This is absurd!! Of concepts completely unheard!!" the boy and girl responded in verse.

"Act!" barked the director, "Art must not be deterred!"


Tan Lucy Pez's Continuation
But John entered and said, "To teach thee, I am naked first; why then what needst thou have more covering than a man?"

Willian followed him in and said, "Love to faults is always blind...."

The director sighed with joy.