Thursday, March 31, 2005

Erotic Imprint on Volvo

Mushroom's Story
"Explain This To Your Wife"

Sue Donim's Story
"It appears, Holmes, that the police arrested a young woman and took her away in handcuffs. See, first they stretched her prone over the bonnet of the vehicle, searched her, then brought her up so she could lean against the bonnet with her hands. They then cuffed her and took her away."

"Ingenious, Watson, but incorrect. Clearly the woman was engaged in an act of passion with her male companion."

"But, Holmes, her pantaloons are still about her waist."

"Only in the front, my dear Watson. Her companion sought acess to her posterior."


"Alimentary, my dear Watson. Alimentary."

Weirsdo's Story
Splorp! The sound came from the alien's protruding eyeballs colliding with the hood of the car. His handlike second feet as well as the claws and front section of his first pair of legs also made violent contact, and his third legs scrabbled against the bumper, trying to push the rest of his thorax onto the smooth, metallic surface. He wished the Earthling inside would stop screaming. For the first time he realized this wasn't going to be easy. She might not believe the story of how he, along with the rest of his team of scientists, had kidnapped her mother 19 Earth years ago for bizarre sexual experimentation. Hurriedly, he readjusted his eyeballs, trying to get a better view of her. Only two sets of appendages, but he thought she had his eyes. . .

Doug's Story
A man walked into a bar and saw a beautiful blond sitting alone. He introduced himself and told the blond she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and could he buy her a drink? She said "Wait just a second, I only date men of means."
He told her "I'm an accountant in private practice."
"And I only get involved with men who aren't afraid of commitment."
"I've been married for 25 years and have two young children."
The blond thought about this and said, "OK, but I only practice safe sex."
"Don't worry," the man said, "my Volvo's parked right out front."

M.P.'s Story
She had kept that pic for some time now. She had no proof of it but perhaps there had been rape. Or just some uncontrolled coupling for which time had been too short.
Whenever she observed that very pic - one of the hundreds she had in her collection of odd exposures - she always came to feel a strange vibration she could hardly explain. Some sex prevert for sure and the body could have belonged to one of the victims.
She felt attracted to think of what sort of truth this pic might hide but that strange vibration had always led her to avoid getting into any sort of investigation of her own.
Easter Sunday.
At that right moment she was sitting at a café, one of the very few open in the city-centre the morning.
She had just finished drinking her coffee when a male voice whispered into her ear: "Don't turn! Stand up and go striaght on to that red car on the other side of the street! Get in and wait!"
What a chill through her spine! That voice had made her feel as strange as that vibration coming from the photo in her collection of odd exposures she was so proud of.

My Story
With all those bodies breezing about out there it was destined to happen. Doug and Marsha got together. Warm skin against warm skin caused blood flowing parallel to tepid blood to sizzle in the veins. A mile-high feeling of dizzying ecstasy charged through them. With each pelvic thrust they shot into unfolding realms of altitude, hotly defying the futile "no's" of gravity. The carnal splendor saw them swirling through boundless tangents, an intertwining one with the stratosphere.

Subsequent to an extremely bumpy ride George inspected his jet car, wiping clouds from the chassis. It never ceased to astonish him how the random formations invariably culminated in some kind of meaningful gestalt.


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